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11:11

Its hard to describe this funk but I’ll try my best. Its hard coming to the realization that you’re a complete and utter failure in all aspects of your life. School. Work. Appearance. Romance. Friendships. Looking back on my short life there’s nothing that I’ve truly excelled in. Of course I try my best but its just never good enough. In school I’m average at best. I keep telling myself that since I’m doing extra its ok that I’ve taken longer and that I’m not doing so great. At work Im just another body that gets things done. My romantic life is basically inexistent. My friendships aren’t anything special. And my appearance is something I’ve always had issues with so thats been a problem since i can remember. I remember being in 7th grade and hating to see myself in the mirror because I saw how ugly I was I always tried to avoid mirrors just because I didn’t wanna see the reflection. I’ve always thought I was ugly and nobody has ever proven me wrong. People don’t call me beautiful or attractive because that’s not what I am. They say I’m funny because that’s all I am someone who jokes around all the time. But why can’t I be the pretty girl or the girl a guy is crazy over or anything. I see everybody I know going through these wonderful experiences in their lives and I truly wish them all the best but when is it gonna be my turn. I just wish someone could understand me. I wish I was special or unique or different but there’s nothing special about me. Most days I wish it had been cancer, if I was gone tomorrow nobody would even notice.

Sincerely,
Losing hope.

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